Behind the Black Mask
by timenspace
Summary: Anakin Skywalker's perspective as he turns from the Light to the Dark side, the pain he suffered for twenty-two years, and the final redemption at the hands of his son, Luke. OU/EU. CHAPTER 13 now up! NOTE: 12 appears to be 11, but 11 is new chap. R&R plz
1. Mustafar: Anakin is dead

**A/N: George Lucas makes all the money from Star Wars for now.**

**The only way I can get paid is your reviews.**

**This is a OU/EU fic from Anakin's fall as Darth Vader, to his return to the Light, from his perspective.**

**please note: I will not make Anakin out to be ever purely evil, that is the emperor's role**

**Setting: ROTS, Mustafar**

"Stop, stop now come back! I love you..." I was barely hearing what Padme was saying. _Control, control, control Anakin._ I was able to control the Force before, why can't I control it now?

_OBI-WAN?_

"LIAR! You're with him, you turned him against me!" Unquenchable rage filled me. Only hate was filling me. Without realizing it, I reached out with the Force, flowing to strongly to control."You brought him here to kill me!"

"NO! Ana..kin..." Her choked cry didn't phaze me.

"Let her go, Anakin." I heard my master's words, but they didn't register. "LET. HER. GO." What was I doing? Nearly horrified, I released her. My Padme, my angel, collapsed on the landing floor.

_GET CONTROL, GET CONTROL, Anakin._ But I couldn't control it. I was shaking with rage.

"You turned her against me!" I believed my own words, I didn't want them to be true, but the definite possibility of it, had the capability of filling me with hatred. I know it probably doesn't make sense, but it did to me.

"You have done that yourself." the truth angered me, but who to be angry at: myself, my Sith master for deceiving me, Padme, Obi-Wan. This was too complicated, but the Force was too strong. Obi-Wan had come here, to kill me, to take her. He was jealous...he wanted her for himself...the dark side conjoured up visions of him staring at her, wanting her...

"You will not take her from me!"

"You're anger and your lust for power have already done that." His elegant words meant nothing to me. The hatred had blinded me, I only saw him throw off the Jedi robes, ready to duel. "You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your mind until now...until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy."

_I DIDN'T SAY I WOULDN'T DESTROY THE SITH._ I needed the dark side, to save Padme, and her alone. If I had to kill my master to do it, I would.

"Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do."

I turned away from Padme. _I wasn't believing what I was saying. What was wrong with me? _It felt as though poison was spreading through my system.

"I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire." The statement was robotic, like it had been carefully rehearsed, like I wasn't even saying them, like I was watchin' someone else say the words...The emperor. I would kill the emperor. He had let Dooku die, he had killed his own master, who was I to say that he wouldn't destroy me...unless the damage had already been done?

"_Your_ new empire?"

Obi-Wan. He'd always held me back, always...before I thought them, the words were out of my mouth. "Don't make me kill you."

"Anakin, my alliegence is to the Republic, to democracy!"

I steeled myself, still hearing the words, not fully understanding the meaning. "If you're not with me, then you're my enemy."

"Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must."

Death was an absolute. No one understood that! "You will try."

I heard his lightsaber ignite behind me. I lunged at him, igniting my lightsaber in midair, a move I had always loved in a fight.

At first Obi-Wan only defended himself, and defended well. I matched his defenses, with more rage, flinging the Force at him.

Faster and faster we dueled, through the main room, where the slaughtered Separatists lay. I had killed them. Me. Darth Vader.

The power was almost too much to handle. I grasped Obi-Wan's throat. He gasped for air. I murmured curses I had heard on a remote planet, couldn't remember the name. Horrible words, words you say to the guy who is having an affair with your wife...

At certain points I didn't _want _to killl him. I could have sent Force lightning if I really wanted to kill him. I just wanted him to think I would kill him. Most of the time.

The confusion set off my timing. He slipped from my grip. We charged each other with Force power, each sending each other flying through the air.

Obi-Wan took advantage of this and Force-shoved me, raising his lightsaber. I seized my weapon and blocked what most assuredly would have been a deathly blow. We fought again with speed, each trying to cut off the others hand. When our lightsabers locked in place, we each tried again Force pushing the other. I summoned my rage. I didn't know where my master summoned all of his power from. I couldn't hold it, so I realeased him, which ment he released me, which sent us both flying.

This time I charged at him with Force power. _HE did want to kill me, this fight proved it._

I charged again and again, sending Force kicks, Force punches. I charged him again, this time he fought back.

He couldn't kill me, he would take Padme from me...that thought of rage kept me going...

I barely noticed the planet melting down before my yellow eyes. As the tower we found shelter in collapsed, I still charged at him. Even as we swung from wires of the communications tower, I still charged at him. We made the jump to the floating pieces of the city. Now I was blind with rage, thinking nothing but the taste of blood. I tried to control it, but it consumed me, just as the lava licked up the tower that was now behind us. So concerned was I with trying to control the welling rage, I barely made the jump. But I liked it that way. The dare, the adventure of it all.

"I have failed you, Anakin; I have failed you."

Oh so now he admitted it! Treachery! "I should have known the Jedi were plotting to take over!" I shouted back. I wasn't ready to forgive him. Not yet.

"Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!"

"From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!"

"Well then you are lost!" How dare he?

Bitterly I remembered padawan training: it is truth from a certain point of view. Death. What was that? Mother. She didn't have midichlorians. They never checked. Again I let my rage blind me. It made fighting easier.

"This is the end for you, my master!" I charged at him, but again, I missed.

I didn't notice the planet was collapsing under me. Didn't notice we were in the fire lake until Obi-Wan said desperatly, "It's over, Anakin. I have the high ground."

The rage flowed stronger, leaping like the lava, flooding the midichlorians. "You underestimate my power." For one moment, I made myself forget who it was that stood above me. He was the emperor. For just one moment. Of fate.

"Don't try it."_ Be reasonable Anakin._ NO, he's the evil. I'll kill him just like I'll kill the emperor, I'll cut off his head in midair. Without realizing it, I was in midair. I had been so filled with rage, I didn't notice I hadn't judged the distance...I swung at my old master. I missed. Blocking the swing of my lightsaber, my master missed, managing to sever the remaining limbs. I fell in the ash. I cried out in pain.

I tried to use the Force to move, but now it was gone. I couldn't lift myself, couldn't move.

"You were the Chosen One!" Obi-Wan shouted. "You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them. Bring balance to the Force. Not leave it in darkness." What was that filling his eyes, just as guilt began to fill my heart? Tears? He was turning away...taking my lightsaber, how dare you Obi-Wan? How dare you?

"I HATE YOU." for not killing me. You should, Obi-Wan. Traitor that I am. Flames licked at me.

"You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you."

Pain struck me. Brothers. We had always been master and padawan, master and knight. But pain enveloped me. The flames ignited, and I screamed in pain. It hurt. I couldn't even use the Force to block it. I couldn't even say what I was thinking. _I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I'm sorry. _

Kill me. Just kill...me... I pleaded. But he had put up the mind barriers. I couldn't reach him, couldn't tell him how much it hurt. He turned away. He would leave me. Leave me to suffer. To kill would have been merciful, even for him. I tried probing in his mind. All I felt was sorrow...maybe a touch of hate. He did think I wanted to kill him. I saw the ship launch._ Padme...I hope I didn't kill her, Force, please, just this one wish. Grant me that, I shall atone for what I have done, even if it is for the rest of..._but I didn't finish the thought, I had slipped into a painful unconscious.

tell me what you think. I plan to continue this, but I may need help.

I hope to continue this up to the point where Anakin turns..


	2. Coroscant: Rise Lord Vader

**I'm posting another chapter, hoping to get people to read this.**

I subconsciously heard the cackling laughter of Palpatine...no Darth Sidious. His orders to the droids.

_LIVE MY APPRENTICE, LIVE._

I automatically put up my mind blocks. Not yet. Not until Padme...but I thought no more.

Pain wracked my entire body. The droids weren't very gentle when they put me on the ship. I gasped for air like a drowned fish. I couldn't breathe. Suddenly I siezed myself out of subconsiousness, was almost forced to because of the intense pain. I needed to recover in a bacta tank. There I would be fine. The respirator was keeping me alive, most thought. But what really was keeping me alive was Padme. The thought of just seeing her again...just once. Force sense told me it probably wasn't possible, but I didn't want to believe it.

They didn't put me in a bacta tank like I had hoped. Instead prosthetics. And I was fully conscious. And there was barely anaesthetic. I could feel Sidious grinning. My master was torturing me? And for what? I had done what he had requested, no more, no less. Yes I had gotten injured in the process, wasn't that enough.

_NO, not for you my apprentice. For you it is not over, Darth Vader. _

I would Force block him from my mind. But wait, Padme. I had to know about her first. I tried fruitlessly to calm my pain, as they drilled in the prosthetics, I tried to brush away the droids, but it was no use. And I could barely gasp out my protests. The job was hurried. What was this? A mask with photoreceptors? Oh Force, Oh Maker, not this. Please not this. Padme won't recognize me...

Finally though I can breathe, though it is loud and obnoxious, ringing still in my damaged eardrums. The table is raised, though I am still strapped down.

"Lord Vader, can you hear me?"

The surprise that he is standing there shocks me just enough to allow his Dark Side to enter my now weakened mind. "Yes, my master," the voice isn't mine. It's a deep baritone I don't know whose voice. I summon my power to block my thoughts, but it's not quite there yet.

"Where is Padme. Is she alive? Is she alright?"

Sidious pauses, ever the theatre, ever the dramatic effect. "Apparently, in your anger,_ you_ killed her."

"I? I couldn't have. She was alive, I felt it!" I didn't kill her. Me? Hate flooded. The droids exploded, as I released myself from the bonds which held me.

The pain was too much. I fought the tears out of my voice. But still, I spoke my mind, this time it was as though the Emperor had forced it out.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOnooooooooooo...the kneeling shot pain through my body almost as though I could feel the lightsaber, cutting through flesh...again...and again. I sense the Emperor grinning viciously. Obi-Wan had been right. He was evil. And now, I was trapped.

I fought not to cry. Better death than this. But Palpatine had insured that. I would live a long life, yes. Alone. The right hand of the Emperor, yes, but it would be a position no better than a slave. No better than Naboo when I was nine. Why oh why had I left

Tears came to my eyes. This mask could serve a great purpose. To hide my true feelings from the emperor.


	3. Death Star: Trapped

**A/N: **

**Disclaimer: Star Wars makes money for George Lucas not me. If Anakin did belong to me do you think he would be reduced to this state?**

**I have just finished the Attack of the Clones, so forgive me for the flashback thing...I tend to like this as a method for telling my story.**

**I'm sorry the last chapter was so short, granted this is a lot longer.**

**If you do like it however, please pay me in reviews. I am addicted to them; PLEASE!  
**

I watched the construction of the strange and new weapon. A space station. I saw the design flaw, but said nothing. If the emperor was to be defeated once and for all...this would be my only leverage...

Suddenly there was sharp pain in my spine. I folded my prosthetic arms, but even that was painful.

"A new sleeping quarters is presently being constructed for you, Lord Vader," he said. The slime dripped from his voice, he did not seem to hear my thoughts, just sent me into sharp pain. "Since you chose to engage the Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you cannot just take off that mask anywhere you choose. You'll die otherwise, and I will be sorely disappointed, my apprentice."

I kept my breathing even, I tried putting up the mental blocks, but that was a skill I sorely did not possess. I would have to do it before I entered his presence.

"What think you of the Death Star, my apprentice?"

"It shall serve our purpose, my master." I kept my voice even.

"You're dismissed." He waved me away. Honestly, I was grateful to be away from him. Once I was out of the room, I felt the tears rolling down my face. This mask would work quite well. No one, not even the Emperor would suspect my raging emotion, once I learned to control the mental block, so he would see nothing.

"I wasn't able to save you, I promise you, I won't let it happen again..." I had broken it. I had broken my promise to my mother. _Padme! I'm sorry, I...I couldn't control it...I didn't mean to..._

Her laughter, I wouldn't hear it again.

"Ana...kin..." Her terrified face would haunt me for the rest of my life.

"The dead care nothing of your thoughts." The emperor's voice echoed in my head. I heard him chuckle as I recoiled in terror. He wasn't behind me, he was in my head. I needed those quarters as soon as possible. He was in my head, and I hated it.

Obi-Wan. I'd have to find him, and kill him. I didn't know if the thoughts were my own, or were a program. At that point I didn't care. The exhaustion had reached its high point. I felt vulnerable, even in the repressive suit. I'd search the entire galaxy to kill my old master, only then would I be satisfied, even if it took twenty years. I didn't like this feeling that someone else was feeding off my power. I didn't like it. This was worse then when I trained with Obi-Wan, maybe if I kill him, this will subside. I'm supposed to be at the pinnacle of my power, why now do I feel so weak...and alone? Confused, like my thoughts were bantha milk and sand. This made no sense. Except one thing. Obi-Wan had been right. Killing him was the only way of undoing it. It made no sense, but I was too depressed to care. Padme was my only reason to stay alive for most of the time. My Jedi loyalties meant nothing compared to her. _And now you've killed her Vader._ Stop thinking of yourself that way, my name's Ani...suddenly I was frantically wracking my brain. I heard the emperor's mocking laughter. I fought the tears this time. I would remember. And I would kill him. My prosthetic knee gave out and I would have fallen, had it not been for a younger guard.

"Are you alright, Lord Vader?"

"I'm fine. Back to your duties." Why couldn't I feel that the young man was sympathetic? It made no sense.

_It's all your fault Padme's dead. You wanted only to save her. _

Stop crying, Vader. You're stronger than this. The Force.

I carelessly swept my arm as I walked past the pilots. They stumbled. I had to smile at that. Now that was entertainment.

_ Now you've killed her. And you're a prisoner Vader. In this suit. Forever._

Self-hatred had to be something I could use.

"Turn the ship back, Admiral. We shall return to Coroscant," I hadn't realized the Emperor was standing there. I put up my mental blocks before I felt his eyes on me.

"Upon our return my apprentice you shall be given your ship. And a small command. Search out and destroy the remaining Jedi for their treachery of the Republic. And then the Empire will be complete."

I knew this couldn't be completely true. There would always be resistance.

"Yes, master."

I would kill all the Jedi for this. They would pay for not letting me marry. Then none of this would have happened. It was all their fault.

"Your ship will hold the means necessary for you."

"Yes master." I bowed my head respectfully.

The memory of what she looked like was starting to fade already. I had to hold on. For just a little longer. Maybe the Emperor was wrong. I had to hold out, just a tiny bit of hope. The Jedi would pay for thier lies.

"All has been arranged my apprentice. Once more the sith will hold the galaxy. And we will have peace."

Peace is in her arms. But I bowed my head again. I was going to hate this. All the formality. What had I become?


	4. Exactor: I simply exist

**Disclaimer: Mathmatica's sonnet on the love of Padme and Anakin is what inspired this**

**George Lucas is rolling in money**

**While I am frantically typing this before I am sued for copyright infringement.**

_"And then he (Anakin) vanishes, lost in that shroud of darkness that has long since consumed him. And he __hopeswondersprays, at the back of his bleeding mind, whether she (Padme) will be able to find him again, underneath the mask." - Mathmatica_

In the finish of a few agonizing days without sleep, the pods were finished. One for the _Executer, _my ship. The other for my dark and lonely quarters. I vowed only to stay there when I had to. It was here I could find sleep, and if the emperor knew he would be very angry: solitude. As I stepped into the pod for the first time, closing the outside world behind me, it left me alone with my thoughts. I sat in the big dark chair. And I let the mask be removed. Only to face a mirror, a horrible reminder of what Obi-Wan had left me to live with. He should have killed me. I touched the wounds barely begun to heal on my face. Tears stung my eyes, but they were yellow, (my eyes, I mean). Tears don't easily flow from Sith eyes. A beep on the comm behind me alerted me to my fleet's business. I returned the mask to my face, refusing to show the true pain in my heart.

Maybe the emperor was lying...

But the hope faded as days went by. I wouldn't be rescued. Ever. The funeral was too official.

_There is no emotion, there is peace_

_There is no ignorance, there is knowledge_

_There is no passion, there is serenity_

_There is no chaos, there is harmony_

_There is no death, there is the Force. (The Code of the Jedi)  
_

But the world is just to complicated sometimes...I always did question where love fit in.

And I stood in the crowd, tall and menacing to those who stood by me. Aching and alone on the inside. She clutched the jade snippett between her cold dead fingertips, hands which I ached only to be caressed by. I didn't like that everyone was afraid of me just because of the suit and the heavy breathing, but I could get used to it. Frantically I hoped that she had used a double to fake her death. That could only mean that she didn't want me to see her again, or worse, she had betrayed me.

Only in the solitude of my pod, or in the throes of a mission could I lose myself, to forget. I didn't care what my name was anymore. None of it mattered. The galaxy would burn itself out, for its light was gone...my Angel, my Padme. Her light had dimmed, whose fault it was, it didn't matter.The galaxy would die, and I would die with it, if I had to destroy it to do so.

"In time, you will forget her, my apprentice, do not forget it was you who killed her..."

My master held me tighter in his clutches and never let me forget my guilt. I tried. I tried in desperation of madness to forget her. It was in this I somehow lost her, and in losing her, lost myself. I learned quickly to feel nothing when my master gave me a command, it gave me great pleasure to shut up my stupid commanders, who knew nothing, believed nothing. Give them a Force choke, and you've shut them up forever. But nearly every time I commenced this, I was stung with regret. I killed Padme this way...

The emperor had lied, I was trapped, but I just didn't care anymore. I was the Chosen One. The Force would find a way to work itself out.

_A situation will soon present itself. _The old words rang in my head. I hadn't thought of Master Qui-Gon in a very long time. I wouldn't be in this predicament if he hadn't been killed by...no, I would _not _cry again...

Rapid beeping across ComScan. The Emperor wanted me. Grumbling inwardly, I prepared myself to be mentally grilled. I sighed as I made sure the mask was fitted properly, and opened the pod. I still had not slept, and was still plagued with exhaustion.

Surely he would torture me to death. The temple children's screaming haunted me, like a pest in my ear.

It was only a tool of the Emperor to break my spirit, I would not let him break me. _Too bad it already happened. I just don't care anymore._

I walked out of the pod. The sun was on the other side of the planet. The passage of time would be eternity.

I steeled myself for the mind probe worthy of Master Yoda, and stepped on the communications platform.

Though the pain was still very, very intense, I bowed. "What is thy bidding, my master?"

"Ah, Lord Vader. A pleasure. I am pleased you answered my call so quickly..."

The pain grew, spreading up my back, into my neck...

"...and so therefore I order you, leave no one alive Vader, on the planet Kamino. No one. The clones have served their purpose. Find this child of the original, and have him..." the emperor chuckled, and I knew without my Force power what he would say next, "terminated."

The thought of killing another child myself, was almost too much.

"My master, I shall do as you have commanded."

I would have the clones do the dirty work for once. I rose as the communique ended. I hated him, hated him. I hated...who cares who I hated.

The only thing that mattered was dead. My life was worthless. A skeleton rotting in a suit. I wished they would quit cringing at me.

"What happened to him?" I heard a young officer ask.

"I heard he was badly injured."

"How does he..." the young officer chuckled. I wheeled around, using the Force to suck the very breath from his throat.

"Lord...Vader," he gasped. Those were the last word from the innocent's throat. Now it didn't hurt so much as it had the first time.

I closed my eyes tight though, trying to block the screaming of the Jedi children. They wouldn't stop, they never stopped. Not even in my nightmares.

I was far from a Jedi, my power flowed from my passion. Not the less to say my treachery had proved that.

I wasn't a Sith, I had only become one to save Padme, to preserve my Republic.

I just breathed, very loudly.

The Emperor's torture, for his pleasure, a tool of the Force. Nothing mattered anymore.

I was Jedi nor Sith...I simply existed, for what reason, I did not care.


	5. Exactor pod: Darkness

**A/N: **

**Disclaimer: Star Wars makes money for George Lucas not me. If Anakin did belong to me do you think he would be reduced to this state?**

**I am reading Dark Lord, and Revenge of the Sith, hoping to delve into Vader's darker side.**

**If you have any ideas of what could help me with the final 2 episodes I have planned before he encounters a stubborn Senator from Alderaan, please let me know.  
**

**In this chapter, Anakin is fully dark side, so it's very wierd.**

**If you do like it however, please pay me in reviews. I am addicted to them; PLEASE!  
**

I sat there, secluded. Well, sort of. The repressive helmet was finally off. My face wasn't going to heal. I could see that now. Who really cared. No one knew but me. And the emperor. Me. Finally I wielded the power I had always desired. At what cost? Who really cared? No one was there to rescue me. Obi-Wan wasn't there to tell me what to do anymore. And this Boba Fett, this clone bounty hunter just like his father, I'd been assigned to kill? If I didn't like him, I would kill him. If I felt like it I would. I was right next to the emperor. No one told me what to do with my power anymore. Although there were still unhealed wounds that weren't healing properly, no one saw them. No one needed to know the vulnerability I felt under the suit. I still had some difficulty walking with the prosthetics. And they were painful. Limb reconstruction was available, but it took time. A lot of time. Too much. And too many would ask questions. If their weak minds dare venture where I really was thinking, I would kill them. I needed to perfect my skills at Force choking. I was no good at a light saber fight. I was in no condition for at least a year. Yes I would practice in the pod. But the dark side would make me an animal. And I didn't care anymore. Even the baby wouldn't have changed that. I wouldn't turn away from the dark side, no matter how much pain I went through. I would prove to the Emperor that I was serious. I would become more powerful than even Darth Plagieus. I would bring Padme back from the dead. I didn't care how long it took. And I was not in a good mood today. Some dumb Imperial officer bother me, please. I am very bored.

A beep. This was good. I was honing my Force skills. I fastened the helmet.

"Lord Vader?"

"Yes, Admiral." I said the words slowly, deliberately. I liked it when he nodded in respect. Now I would make all my men fear me.

"My lord, we've encountered an error in the navicomputer..."

But I didn't let him finish.

"My...lord...pleese..."

No oxygen, and he was gone. Dropped to the floor like a stone. And I felt nothing. I had finally moved on. I was proud of myself. Soon I would be strong enough in the Force to overpower the Emperor. I had even forgotten what my mother looked like. I just didn't care anymore. Finally the only thing that kept me alive was the thirst for more power.

I am your new terror in the galaxy. I am built for intimidation. I will use my pain, and I will rule the galazy. It is only a matter of time. I can do it alone. I don't need anyone. I just need to be left alone. Or the emperor can torture me all he wants, I will only grow stronger from the pain. I was already one with the dark side.

Finally I am the dragon that had haunted me of death.


	6. Executor: Twenty odd years later

**A/N: **

**Disclaimer: Star Wars makes money for George Lucas, not me. If Anakin did belong to me do you think he would be reduced to this state? No! Vader would have been an ugly guy from the beginning...  
**

**I give up. Here's the prequel to the "stubborn senator"****. Darth Vader will be face-to-face with his daughter.  
**

**If you do like it however, please pay me in reviews. I am addicted to them; PLEASE!**

**I admit most of the thought process may be from TheRealThing. If I have sabatoged your work, I am really sorry.  
**

It's been twenty years. Twenty long years. It's Empire Day, and I hate it. The Emperor knows I hate it. I really had ceased to care about fifteen years ago just why I hate it, but at least by now the Emperor knows that the best day to send me on an interrogation mission is EmpirIe Day. I have told myself over and over that it is because I am patriotic. Because I love the Empire. I have told myself this so much so, that even I believe it. If I truly asked myself why, and I chose to be fully honest, it's really because Empire Day is the day I (Anakin Skywalker), died. The day I killed Padme. But I would never lower myself that that was the real reason. I just don't care anymore. My only wish is to destroy the entire galaxy, to kill whoever would stand in my way. The insanity iss less now, now that I now chose to believe the lies I have to tell the Emperor. The children's screaming haunts me less. My Padme's weeping, no longer haunts my nightmares. Yes, I am lying to myself again. I dream them, I know. But that is the only thing that drives me, drives my hate. The only thing that keeps the Chosen One alive. To say I believe that I am still the Chosen One, well that would be lying now, wouldn't it? I pushed the toughts away with the Force. Yes. I clenched and unclenched my fists.

"Piett." I have even gotten used to the voice.

"Yes, Lord Vader." He's promptness pleases me. But I have become too dark to care. As long as he continues to please me. He will soon be promoted to Admiral. I am sick of these incompetent fools...

"Lord Vader, a pleasure." The newest Admiral. Already lying. It's not supposed to be a pleasure to serve me.

I silenced him with the Force. Not a choke. Just a block in the vocal chords.

"Report, Piett."

"Lord Vader, we have picked up a ship on one of our scans. It appears to be diplomatic ship."

"How far?" And why wasn't this reported sooner? INCOMPETENCY! Such things would never fly during the Clone Wars...

"It is about fifty parsecs. If we exit hyperspace now..."

"Commence."

"Exit hyperspace. Yes, my lord, anything else?"

He was greatly pleasing me today. "You will soon be in charge Piett. It is only a matter of time from these incompetent fools..." I couldn't speak as freely as I would have liked. Tarkin was in charge, not I.

"My lord, I am honored..." He was sincere, surprisingly. But I didn't care.

"What is the nearest planet?"

"Kimera. From our scans it appears the ship is headed to Alderaan."

"We will board the ship."

"I would advise against..." I cut the Admiral off again, by clicking off the comm.

I had linked the rebel spies that kept on sabatoging the Empire, to Princess Leia. It was her ship. I was sure. The Force said so.

I had never really liked her father, Bail Organa. Everyone knew he wasn't her real father. Even I. He could hide those lies from no one. Maybe the senators had all turned a blind eye, but not me. Not Darth Vader. She was probably the daughter of one of those traitors from so long ago, maybe even Obi-Wan's.

I had used to fight thinking about him, but not anymore. I let the hatred course through the midichlorians. The hatred gave me strength now. I had gotten used to that. I had gotten used to mindless killing, mindless torture.

I used to try not to let it, but it hadn't mattered anyway. It was my destiny. And I would fulfill it. And yet, a big part of my half cyborg form, really didn't give a damn. It was just another senator to interrogate.

I didn't know how wrong I really was.


	7. Executor: Rebel Capture

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.**

**In this chapter Darth Vader comes face to face with his daughter (and doesn't even know it)**

_Empire Day._

I am in a _very _bad mood today. It wasn't enough that today would have been the 22nd life day of our child (I can only go by the projected due date). I have given up hope that maybe Padme had her child hidden. I really don't care. I only wish to fulfill the Emperor's mission so he will leave me alone.

Except the incompetent Admiral. I swear I will kill him before the month is out. I need a very good excuse. The last Admiral I killed was for not pulling us out of hyperspace before the Rebels escaped. The Emperor was furious. I couldn't walk for a full sun cycle, due to the pain. I have come to understand now that the Emperor sends me pain so I will turn it into anger. Since Empire Day is the day I suffered so much pain for the sake of the Empire...but no, I will NOT think about this anymore. No one alive remembers what I look like. I have made sure of that. I had erased the city records of Anakin Skywalker destroying the Jedi Temple, replacing the story of Anakin dying in the purges in the front. I wasn't a Jedi anymore, I didn't want them connecting him to such a horrible act. I walked down from the pod to the bridge. I wasn't interested in exchanging pleasantries. I rapped firmly on Governor Tarkin's quarters.

"What is this, Lord Vader?" His hair was tousled and he still was in his sleepwear.

He was the only one who could do that and live. He outranked me, even though I had sacrificed more, sacrificed everything, he still outranked me. Sure, I respected him because he was my superior. If I lost my temper, I knew to stay away from Tarkin. The Emperor would kill me for sure. His family ranked next highest in te Empire. I had to respect him.

"We have just exited hyperspace in pursuit of a rebel ship. Empire class."

Tarkin flicked on the monitors. "Vader, are you an idiot? This is a diplomatic ship!"

"It is not just any ship, governor. It is Princess Leia's ship." How dare he question me?

"Alderaan? Vader."

"I have linked the rebel spies to her. Soon we will find the secret base. It's been twenty plus years, and still the rebellion is yet to be crushed. The plans are aboard that ship."

"Governor, Lord Vader." I knelt in front of the sudden blue holo of my master. I realized I had not put up my usual mind blocks, but at this point, I didn't care.

"Finally the rebellion will be crushed. Vader see to it that you use nearly any means necessary to find the base. If it means using such unconventional and barbaric methods, then do it. Bring the Alderaan princess to me. You may leave, Lord Vader, I wish to command Tarkin of his destination and coordinates."

"Yes my master." Since construction of the Death Star from the very beginning, there had been rebel sabotage. I was sick of this. How was I supposed to please the Emperor if the work done was sabotage? It would have been funny if it hadn't been so tragic. And if the Rebels hadn't stole the brand new plans I had designed myself. I had designed those myself. The one flaw I knew couldn't be dectected unless someone got ahold of my plans. And this spoiled brat of a senator's daughter had them. I couldn't let on how much this angered me. How dare she steal those plans. The Emperor's words were ingrained in my head. I couldn't get out of the compulsive idea that I should use Twelve Hells if she refused to cooperate. Electroshock therapy they called it as a joke in Coroscant.

"Lord Vader?" The Admiral. Again. Would he never leave me alone?

"What is it Admiral?" Even through the mask, I did not try to keep the annoyance from my tone.

"Should we pull the ship in with the tractor beam?"

Was the man stupid? "You will. And then you will blast the door." I used the Force to penetrate his mind.

That was better. These men would crash into a planet if it wasn't for me. I was proud of myself, proud of the accomplishments I had made.

They blasted the door. It would be over soon now. The rebels fired on my troopers. But it was over within minutes. I scanned the bodies. Most displeased. Who knew where those plans where? I found one. Still alive. And somewhat stubborn.

"How dare you, Lord Vader?" We are only trying to get home to Alderaan. That is all. Just home.

I lifted him up with my hand, cutting off his breathing.

"There was a transmission made," I said darkly.

"We're...on...a...diplomatic...mission," he gasped.

"The Death Star plans are not in the main computer." One of the clones reported robotically.

"What happened to that transmission you intercepted? I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you."

"We...intercepted...no...transmissions...this is a consular's ship...We're on a...diplomatic mission." He struggled, tried for the air that was denied him.

"If this is a consular's ship then where is the ambassador?" I clenched my fist harder then I meant to. The prosthetics sometimes did things they weren't supposed to, but it would all serve its purpose. The larynx was crushed. I threw him to the floor. He had been telling the truth, but by this point, I didn't care.

"Commander! Tear this ship apart until you have found those plans. And take these passengers, I want them alive!"

I wanted to question this Princess myself.

I continued to peruse the ship. It had various compartments, obviously rebel. Annoying.

"Lord Vader, we have a prisoner." This could be fun. I took the statement back when I saw her. Princess Leia. Spitting image of...

"Darth Vader, only you could be so bold. The Imperial Senate will not stand still for this. When they here you've attacked a diplomatic ship..."

I cut her off. "Don't act surprised, Your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time. Several transmission were beamed to this ship by rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you."

"I don't know what you talking about. I'm an Imperial senator on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan."

LIES! "You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away!"

The lies didn't make me so mad as her familiar look. Damn. She looked just like Padme. And I needed to get her out of my head. I shook my head as I walked, trying to clear it. I needed to get her out of my head.

"Holding her is dangerous," Piett advised. "If word of this gets out it might generate sympathy for the rebellion in the senate."

"I have linked the rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding thier secret base." My only link to finding out. If that really is Padme, I'll turn her to our side. If not, she is an imposter and deserves punishment.

"She'll die before she'll tell you anything."

"Leave that to me. Send a distress signal, then inform the Senate all aboard were killed." It could be true within the week.

"Lord Vader, the battle station plans are not aboard this ship, and no transmissions were made."

Princess, why did you have to make it so hard? The one time I DON'T want to torture someone just for their looks. and I'm going to have to do it, and do it well. Otherwise I will never prove to myself or the Emperor I am truly strong enough to be his successor.


	8. Death Star: Stirrings in the Force

**A/N: **

**Disclaimer: Star Wars makes money for George Lucas, not me. **

**credit should go to Wookiepedia for the inspiration.**

**FLASHBACK: Few months after the reconstruction of VADER**

**  
**_The Emperor was training me in one of the exercises of the Dark Side. Finding pain, to lead to anger, which called the Force, the source of my power._

_"And now my apprentice, feel your hate. The sheer terror of the Dark Side is nothing compared to its power, yet it can turn on you in an instant. You must be strong enough, to withstand the backlash of such power. Are you ready, my apprentice?"_

_"I am, my master." It was robotic, and I still had not gotten used to the "dark voice" of mine._

_The suit, though I still felt claustrophobic in it at times, at least I found relief in those small moments in the pod, when I wasn't being bothered by pressing state matters, when I had my time alone, to meditate. My master scorned this, but it was an old habit I refused to give up..._

_"Focus..." he repremanded, striking me with a shock of Force lightning, I turned slowly (if I could have whirled around without landing on my face, I would have, I just had not built up the physical strength enough to do so)._

_I was glaring at him under the mask. The orbs glowed red, only because my eyes were glowing yellow. Fireburst yellow. I gathered the Force around me. Today I would spark him, make the old man's hair stand up. And we could laugh. Maybe. Later. I prepared, and as I released the Force, trying to aim lightly, I wouldn't kill him, He was my master, and I held loyalty for him, even though he knew the droids had done a painful job on my armor. Kneeling was painful, breathing was loud and annoying, even eating was a harrasment at times._

_He struck me so fast, I wasn't sure at first what it was. The intense pain in my neck caused me to reel back._

_He chuckled menecingly. "You will never learn to use Force lightning, Vader. You never can. Only those who have real fingers, real limbs, can wield so great a Force in so spectacular a way. Did you not see what happened to the Jedi Windu? And you have done almost equal that the death of your dear wife." His words dripped with riducule. I learned the lessons well. I learned to play the game. I focused on my anger, it would overflow like hot lava if I was not careful._

_"Focus on anything, that deck officer there." He pointed to an image, that was a blur on my photoreceptors. I rasped, I couldn't breathe. I knew from Clone Wars experience my neck was probably broken. And for what? I lashed out with the Force on the helpless officer._

_"Lord....Vad...er...." but he was dead. I had sucked the pure life out of him with just the Force. Maybe the suit wasn't so terrible after all. Overcome with pain, I only channeled the Force to keep me standing._

_"Good..." the Emperor gurgled with pleasure. I ignored him. His complements, sent shocks to my conscience. I would have rather done as I had always done, with minimum praise. Whatever kind of life that had been. I didn't even really remember who this person Anakin Skywalker was anymore...again I was stabbed with sharp pain in my neck.  
"Now you cannot go without that mask, Vader, just as you are one with the Force, and one with me, just so you are one with the mask. I could do another for you to demonstrate you can never be more powerful than I."_

_"'T's not necessary, my master." I managed to gasp._

_He didn't acknowledge my submission of surrender. "Droids, take care of Lord Vader's injuries."_

_He grinned menecingly again. I still had not given up hope that one day I would irritate him to such a degree I would be killed. H__aving every vertebrate of your body broken one at a time, is no way to die, I thought._

_The droids took care of me, poorly. I couldn't go in open air for more than a few seconds. In the pod, I could last a few hours, enough to get about four hours of sleep, as long as I wasn't disturbed by a 'pressing matter'. I still meditated of course, but the Emperor liked to keep me occupied in searching for the Rebellion._

And now was my chance to deal with the Rebellion. I wouldn't do such horrible things to the Princess. That was just barbaric, the Empire wasn't barbaric. I stopped the flow of sympathetic thoughts automatically. It had become an exercise, so normal I even did it unconsiously. If I let myself think that then I would have more doubts than I did before I turned from the Order. I hadn't decided the best course of action. The mind probe first, it's non-obtrusive, most people succumb within minutes, as it sensitizes where the feelings are most intense, and probes and probes until it finds the information the computer is searching for.

If a subject resists this droid, and this method of interrogation, it automatically tortures them. I steeled myself. Yes, true the princess was beautiful, and her resemblence was remarkable, but sometimes it is the end, which justifies the means. And my "ends" were finding the Rebel base, getting a good report for once. I let the droid and the subordinates do the dirty work, finding my "means".

The Princess resilience was remarkable, worthy of the Jedi Trials, but one day I was in a very bad mood. Tarkin had threatened me, me of all people. Said he'd tell the Emperor I was being nice. Regrettably, to prove all of them throughoughly wrong, and to prove the Emperor my unfounded "loyalty" , I unleashed the 12 Hells, a secretive device that unleashed and intense amount of physical and emotional pain. I didn't really want to damage the princess. The drugs induced by the droid made her think she was being flayed and I was an evil monster come to eat her alive (which unfortunatly I did know how to prey on a girl's fears). Of course, it wasn't happening for real, the drugs induced made her think so. Still she wouldn't confess. She knew the secret base, her eyes said so. In fact, she had to be admired for her bravery, (I thought). But Tarkin had other ideas. Using the great weapon on her planet. I didn't like it, but I didn't object. The Emperor had already been displeased with me on more than one occassion for sparing someone's life just because I admired their bravery. He'd severed my hand once in a raging fit after I'd done this. I really didn't want to risk unleashing 12 Hells on myself (my system would never withstand it in its weakened state).

She finally broke, saying the Rebel base was on Dantooine. I knew differently but I wouldn't tell Tarkin that. Let the stupid man be punished by the Emperor. I didn't say anything as Alderaan shattered like a glass ball. The only purpose I served was keeping the Princess facing the planet. As it shattered, the screaming of my nightmares grew louder, more terrified. I gripped the Princess' shoulder, not realizing I would probably leave a bruise. As those on Alderaan joined the Force, I grew angry at Tarkin. Stupid, stupid man. Did he think that after blowing up the Princess' planet that he could torture more from her? I sent the probe droids to Dantooine anyway, knowing that we had probably destroyed the Rebel base, or the Princess wouldn't tell us. She obviously would die for the Rebel base, she should be admired for her resilance, not tortured further. Tarkin ordered the torture to begin again, I refused to sit in on it, making excuses. If one didn't use the Force, they would think them very lame...instead I did order the clones (stupid creatures, the lamest mind trick of all works on them) to let her rest a few hours. I was, I guess, half-hoping we'd find something on Dantooine. I did find out Tarkin ordered her executed. I wasn't pleased, but sometimes the Grand Moff outranks the Emperor's personal crony.

As my officers informed me of a undesignated ship, the Force surged. I hadn't felt that since...my injuries. Obi-Wan. Finally I would conquer what had destroyed my life. Stupid underlings went through the ship. If Obi-Wan was with them, there was no way they would ever find them. I sensed him nearby, and soon would be our chance. Soon I would sever my final connections with the Republic, and I would triumph. But I would need an assistant. A glimpse of a mop of blonde hair stirred feelings I didn't know I still possessed...

TBC

I'm sorry this is so short, I will try to do better.


	9. Death Star: Old Memories

**A/N: **

**Disclaimer: Star Wars makes money for George Lucas, not me. **

**_Flashback_**

_A couple of years after my neck was mysteriously broken, I had to sit in on a senate meeting. Now my rage was growing out of control. The Senator droned on. I pressed my prosthetic fingers together. I was making them uncomfortable just by me being there. I didn't care about the political arguement, I had ceased to care about that long ago. I was only there upon the emperor's command to prevent the expansion of the senators ideas for getting their power back. I clenched my fist this time, directing it to the droning senator. I had not yet learned to control my anger and I did not yet care. He reached for this throat. I liked this, no master to tell me, "Control your skill, focus you must." That voice had been silenced by clone gunners on Kashyyk. For a moment, I regretted my thoughts. I didn't unclench my autotramic fist, in fact in the heat of the moment, all I saw was his face turning purple or some odd color. Whatever it was, it didn't register like I thought it should in my photoreceptors. Everything was tainted by red. The color of rage, the color of Mustafar, the source of my power..._

_"Train yourself to let go, of everything you fear to lose."_

_Everything that had mattered in life was gone. I lived for one reason, and maybe one reason only. Maybe I thought she'd come back. Maybe I liked the slavery to the Emperor. Maybe it was my fault. If I had been honest, but there wasn't time for that now.I was beginning to feal nothing. Only a numb pain in my stomach. I wasn't hungry, though eating was a hassle. Jedi training and I could go for days without what was now an inconvienence._

_I gave the air back to the senator just before he collapsed, unconscious on the floor. _

_"Meeting is adjourned." They would save themselves from being killed by me as long as they did not protest. The senate should be dissolved. I would ask my master, and risk getting punished again..._

_The least he could do was think about my request. After all I had sacrificed for the Empire. In the name of love. _

_"What is your wish, my young apprentice? I am very busy."_

_I didn't quite realize that I was already standing on the communique pad. Quickly I dropped to my knees. I couldn't keep the wince from my Force presence. It was painful to kneel. The droids had drilled the prosthetics to the bone. This would preven any risk of healing or regrowth..._

_"My request my master is to find a asway to dissolve the senate..."_

_"We must maintain order and peace, Darth Vader, not suddenly make decisions on a whim. Something else troubles you, tell me, and perhaps that request is more reasonable..."_

_Before I thought about what I was saying, "A bacta tank my master would be most refre-"_

_"Until you have learned to channel your anger, you will always remain a no-face, a no-name. It was you, Vader, who killed your wife..."_

_He didn't need to finish. It felt as though the screws in my left shoulder were still drilling...the pain..._

_"You must train your feelings, Lord Vader, only then will you be able to relieve your suffering, to acquire the power you desire. I shall see to the senate. Your relief of your pain is up to you."_

The words again rang in my head. Only through my anger would I acquire my power, I would have to kill my last hinderance. I felt him. I waited a long time for him. Patience is not something a Sith usually posesses. Except I had waited of over twenty years for this. What was a few minutes?


	10. Death Star: My Son

Really? My master had dared to show up here. My Death Star. My project. Mine. He'd joined the rebels. Of course. Lowlife son of a bantha. Bantha fodder for that matter. He had to be what? Sixty-five? I was close to forty. Forgot my life day. The real one. I was supposed to celebrate on Empire Day, for that was when Vader was truly born, but I told the Emperor I would rather celebrate my life day on a mission for the Empire. Real reason, though I would have never admitted it to anyone, was because it just didn't feel right, celebrating on Empire Day. It felt right on the 24th of Spring (but the months had all been changed since the Empire, even I didn't know my day anymore). Fighting him, fighting Obi-Wan. Why am I feeling such hesitation. Finally revenge. After twenty years of contemplating it. Suffering in this Force-cursed suit. Finally! I will bring balance to MY Force. Kill him, kill Obi-Wan...the desire for blood posessed me, much as it had on Mustafar. I didn't get it. Just a small part of me, didn't get it. Why did I want to kill him so badly. Maybe because he made me a cripple. Maybe because I deserved it. Maybe because I was fighting for my life, fighting for a beautiful princess...I couldn't remember, I didn't want to think of it oh HELL with all of it, I would fight him. End this confusion, this madness.

I ignited my lightsaber behind him. He turned. I began to walk toward him. His lightsaber lit up...blue in color. Surprise was the best technique. "I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner, now _I_ am the master." I said my words slowly and deliberatly. I had learned to do so in my strange baretone.

"Only a master of evil, Darth..." He raised his saber to meet mine. We flung each other with Force. But he was weaker, and I wasn't my best. Each anticipated the other's movies, able to defend. Yet I sensed Obi-Wan fading. "Your powers are weak old man," I said with more confidence than I felt.

"You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."

You can't imagine, Obi-Wan! Never! Still we fought.

"You should NOT have come back." Because I had to kill him. If the Emperor found out any had escaped, this time he would kill me.

Still we were meeting each others moves, it was impossible for me to reach up far enough. He had severed my limbs, I would sever his head. Can't be unified with the Force with no head, can you, my master? But I knew I was decieving myself. My breath came short...I sensed him, who was he? The blonde haired kid....Obi-Wan looked at him, then me, and grinned??!! Now this really made no sense. My son? I DIDN'T KILL PADME? YOU TOOK MY SON?

He held his lightsaber up, and I...I can't tell you really what I was thinking, it was all a strange jumble of: You really did betray me? You saved my son! You'll fight! And I brought the sabre down across his shoulders, and he didn't drop to the floor...he disappeared...I stomped on the robe, but he was gone.

"Nooooo!" Son. My son. Mine. My own. My flesh and blood. Now I could win. A better half of me. "Come on, Luke!"

The princess was escaping. And I really didn't care. MY SON. MINE. LUKE. LUKE SKYWALKER, after the better half. I would NOT tell the Emperor about this. If he has such great Force Sense, let him find out...

Suddenly, for the first time...it had been twenty years...I was almost happy. Almost proud...almost felt hope.


	11. Somewhere in Hyperspace: Two Rulers

Damn. I'd forgotten. The rebels had the plans, my plans. Obviously my son had joined them. Obi-Wan had deluded him, just as he deceived me. Was Padme still alive? Pity the blade hadn't missed, then I would have interrogated him. Good thing I had thought of the tracking device. Thought it would be just in case Obi-Wan had intended to escape me…now I would find my son, find the plans. I would decide what to do with the princess and the pilot later. I realized I did know who the young man was that fired on my troopers. A lieutenant in our early years. When he was tortured for not killing a Wookie. Which he should have been admired for, not dishonorably discharged. Unless of course the Wookie knew about leftover Jedi…then…but that was before everything and it didn't matter anymore...or did it?

"What were you thinking, they're escaping!" Tarkin had been frantic. Why should he be? He didn't have to face the Emperor every other day. He wasn't threatened with torture twice a week. He only had responsibility of the Death Star. He held the responsibility for blowing up the Princess' planet. That wasn't my fault. Of that I was sure.

"Do not worry. I have placed a tracking device on the Falcon." Some tracking device. My own son. I had to speak to him, see him after all these long years…justice. The Emperor, my abuser, defeated. My son was strong with the Force. He'd gotten that from me. I wished I had the ability to feel some emotion, pride, happiness…he hadn't died. He reminded me of another boy of long ago, that I didn't know how to feel those great feelings I had once felt. I remembered what it was like to feel them, just not how to get to them in my mind.

The beep. Damn. I would hide him from the Emperor as long as I could. The torture I endured would soon be over. My son and I would rule the Galaxy. Together. My son would succeed me. He would take a wife, perhaps the Princess, they had already met anyway. I felt him. Mine. My son. His hurts, his fears. He'd lived with my old relatives on Tatooine. Couldn't blame the kid. He'd grown up far sheltered then I had been, for far longer. I ordered the ship to close in. Yavin IV is not a difficult planet to blow out of the sky but much less noticeable.

(sorry this is so short).


	12. Above the Skies of Yavin IV: New Hope

**Sorry its been so long. Hope you like it, please review or flame, I'm addicted to just about any feedback at this point.

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I felt the tremor in the Force. So light, it could have just been another rebel death. Or birth. But I knew different. It was slight yes, but it became stronger as the Death Star moved closer to Yavin IV. My son. Grand Moff Tarkin, the blasted fool. Blowing up the rebel base to the Force was one thing. Blowing up my son was another. Obi-Wan was helping him, even in death! Still his guardian. I didn't care if I blew the rebel base to the Force, I could have cared less. But I didn't want to kill my son, Rebel or not. I had joined the Dark Side to calm my fears, to make my life simpler. But now things were far more complicated than I had dared to fathom. But I had to be careful with my thoughts. The Emperor had sensed when I had wavered before. But I had already given up most of my standards, what was another? I didn't want to feel _that_ pain again. I would rather be angry of my own will than have it forced upon me. But that was the only way I had learned to manage the Dark Side. Without anger, without passion, without fear, without rage, the Dark Side was like wielding a black hole. It swallowed you, consumed you, devoured you whole. It was that even with those things, I was just too filled with hate and fear to admit it Rage was the only thing that allowed me to handle the darkside. I didn't understand how the Emperor could control it. It didn't make sense, I felt out of control when he handled the dark side...

_You were the Chosen One!!!!  
_

Why did those words torment me now? They always had, but suddenly they echoed loudly in my helmet. Suddenly the Death Star jolted slightly. They had my plans. They had found out the weakness. The main reactor. I didn't care. As long as I got out of there and lived. Now I had a reason, my son, hopefully I would hear his name. I summoned two of the clone troopers. Loyal fools. Order 66. I'd be dead if I hadn't, no the old Ani would have fought, then Padme couldn't be dead...but I couldn't think about this now. Now was the time to test him. My son. Mine. All mine and no one else's. My last shread of Padme wasn't gone yet, not just yet. I had to test him though, prove his bravery. I would aim delicatly, I wouldn't kill him. Wouldn't blast his ship. The other rebels were a different matter, but my son, Rebel or Imperial, he was still my son. I didn't want to kill him, though that would be the Emperor's command. But wait, he'd told me it was my fault, reminded me more times than I cared to remember. My dreams had been true, Padme had died giving birth, to my son, to ours. A new hope that I hadn't felt in a long time stirred. I had to keep it hidden. Had to. There was no way out otherwise. I wouldn't tell the Emperor. I aimed carefully for the blue and white droid. R2's were better than R3's or R4's and now the new R6's which were protectively stored next to the hyperdrive. There was no other use for them, not anymore. Was that R2? had my son inherited his treasure of a memory bank? Suddenly I realized. the droid probably had its mind wiped. Good. Then my son wouldn't know that Anakin Skywalker and I were the same person, once. the records told of his death on Mustafar, by my hand. But it was true I supposed. Then my son wouldn't know about Anakin, unless someone else had told him the tale. I would have some explaining to do. As the two clone troopers blasted into oblivion, I had to feel a grin. Just inside. The tiniest flicker. My boy was Force-sensitive. Then I sensed him next to the exaust port. And a huge sigh of realief. The boy wasn't aware of me. I made sure of that. Suddenly my ship went spinning from a blast from behind, I landed on nearby Yavin V. My son was a kriffing rebel. Always had hoped it would be a boy, but Padme said it was a girl. Sometimes I remember not knowing. Not sure. Not exactly. Didn't even know what she...no, but we had talked about it...had Padme named him Luke, as I had wished, or had Obi-Wan named him. If I didn't kill Padme, who did? None of this made sense anymore...

* * *

TBC


	13. Bespin: Daughter?

I had laid the trap so perfectly. My son wouldn't stop running from me. He was terrified of me, and he had good reason. I was a monster, I knew that, everyone knew it. But this plan to trap the Wookie, the former sergeant and the Princess was almost perfect. Boba Fett wanted Han, I wanted Luke. Fair exchanged to this oil dealer. The Imperials wouldn't interfear in his affairs, and he wouldn't interfere in ours. Calrissian. Always had been stupid at gambling. You're not supposed to bet more than you have, you going to end up losing everything. I'd learned that at nine years for the gods' sake. He treated them with courtesy. He had to. Solo was an old friend, and smart, that kid. The dinner invitation. Finally, I held the Rebel base within my grasp, and I would get my son back. The whole thing was too good to be true. As Calrissian opened the door, I stood, with a satisfied grin on my face. Han fired at me. Stupid Correllian, you don't mess with the Force. Then I saw her. The Princess, with her braids, and then I saw her again. Woman who haunted my dreams, demanding why, questions I didn't know how to answer. Her eyes were pleading and she clung to Han. The girl loved him, dammit. Why did she remind me so much of Padme? I probed with Force sense. She was my daughter. Then she had to go as well. If I handed Solo over to Boba he would get killed. He was an honest smuggler. Stupid, yes, but honest, and smart. Besides. It would lay the perfect trapp for that wretched slimy piece of slug. The troopers would have meat for a month. I'm glad I don't know how badly that Hutt tastes. The one we rescued stunk enough. Old Stinky.  
"Take them to the lower level," I demanded. I would make Han prove his worth, or I would hand him over. Any human without Force sense who can withstand torture is a good man, worthy of my daughter. The emperor didn't need to know about her, and she didn't need to know I was her father. She didn't need to, it would only torment Padme's ghost more. And the thought of that, was almost too much. The electrodes passed through the captain's system, and as he screamed in agony, I read his mind. I didn't ask him any questions, I didn't need to. He had strong, fierce love for Leia, my Leia. I felt a stab of jelousy, and I ordered another shock. He screamed again, but he didn't lose his spirit, didn't lose his love for her. I believed him. No interrogation technique was needed. Considering how cruel and heartless, I usually am, I didn't understand why exactly I ordered Solo to be frozen. True, I needed him to test to see if the system would kill my son (though I had almost no plans of using it, just to put up appearences). True I would have liked to blow away Jabba and the rest of the clan on Tatooine. I didn't want to just blow up the planet, I wanted to kill them off, one by single one. And then I thought of the Hutt. If Solo was delivered alive, the Hutt would probably order his execution. Keeping him frozen would perhaps save his life, and the Princess' heart. She didn't need to turn to the Dark Side, I sensed that she wasn't as strong or aware in the Force as my son. I would keep her secret, no one needed yet to know that she was my daughter, unless Luke told to tell her. I heard again the terrified screams of Alderaan in the Force, and I felt a stab of regret that I had made her watch the destruction of the planet. Why couldn't I sense her in the Force before? Had Luke told her things? None of this made sense, and I didn't have any of the answers. Finally, for the first time in months, I felt that I was at least thinking somewhat clearly.

* * *

A/N: Vader's still crazy. His thoughts as Han is frozen is the next chapter, and will probably cover at least part of the fight with his son, Luke. Tune in sometime this weekend or next week for more.


	14. Bespin: Empire Strikes

I had forgotten how much I had really loved her. Torture at the hand of the Emperor had made me forget, had forced it as far from me as Obi-Wan who had joined the Force. I felt him guiding my son. He had told him I was dead? What was with that? Surely my son could sense something between us. I tried sense him, tried to communicate. Even after all the years as a Sith, I felt as though my power was draining out of me. I had to hide this from the Emperor in order to survive, I couldn't just live like this. It wouldn't do. And I would end up dead before I could actually teach my son everything I knew. What did I know exactly though? How to hate, how to kill?

_YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!_

_Master Skywalker. There are too many of them, what are we going to do?_

I was tormented by those nightmares again, why? I hadn't thought of the younglings in a long time. The children's young beautifully shaped faces, the innocence in their eyes. Why could I kill them with no feelings, or was it that my son was the part of me that wasn't a cyborg, wasn't a monster. The flesh and blood of me that had loved Padme. Part of me sensed there wasn't just Luke. Something else. And he looked like a Luke. Good thing. At least Padme had lived long enough to name him. Just long enough to name him what we had planned. Then why did I sense that I had not discovered everything. What if one was Force-sensitive and did not know it, did that mean Padme…died…but no, wait, that made no sense. Sometimes I had remembered that the baby was a boy, one time I clearly remember a girl kicking my hand…but it wasn't possible. I had killed her. It was my fault, not my dreams….not the baby…it went against everything I had believed for twenty years. I had accepted evil as a necessary control over the galaxy. It didn't make any sense. None. What? Something was just out of my reach…I felt it…latched on, tried to find out where…then I thought of it. Bespin. The Cloud City. The rebels would hide there. I had already tried finding my son by almost destroying the planet Hoth, but I had failed. At least a small portion. Maybe one of them could tell me where Luke really was, better yet, lead him there, pull him through the Force. Could I sum up enough Force power to send him a vision waiting for him during meditation? I felt Yoda. Blast it all through the Force! The little green elf had made it. So he HADN'T been killed on Kashyykk. Shavits! Kriffin elf! Swear words I had learned in Sith training bounced through my head like sparks. The time had come for a plan. I would go to Cloud City. We had left them alone. I would make up a dumb excuse to the Emperor. He knew about Luke anyway. He might well have, meet your doom, my master. I would say. Cloud City. Oil, and trade. Lando Calrissian commanded it. I knew that. The man was a gambler and a bad one at that. This might have been a risk he wasn't willing to take. I went with my ship. The Stormtroopers would keep the city under control. This wouldn't be a problem in the least. Lure the rebels here, lure Luke. That was the plan. And I would not fail this time. Every detail would be ironed out. And they wouldn't know my prescence. Those would be one of the stipulations, yes. I sighed. This time I was nearly content. Soon the galaxy would be mine. Would be ours. Father and son. Perhaps we could discover how to keep ourselves from dying. No strings. No betrayal. He was my son. He had to be loyal. To be forced to kill him would be forcing myself to kill a part of me. The last bit that still loved Padme, weather that was the Light or not, I didn't know. I didn't care either. Light or Dark, my son and I would control the galaxy together. I thought of the blonde curly locks I had once owned, once caressed by Padme, the mother of my son. I had killed her in a fit of rage, I would not make the same mistake with my son.

As I landed on Cloud City and made my preparations, I felt her, the Princess. The Princess here? She and Luke? No, I felt someone else, instincts so strong they could have been mistaken for a Force sensitive. I read the signatures. A Wookie, the Princess, and her escort. I saw the secluded surveillance as they landed. As she edged closer to the pilot, a blind man would be able to tell she was in love. It made perfect sense. Leia, Princess Leia, had been stolen from me. By Obi-Wan and that brat of a Senator. At least I had taken preventative measures and killed him on Alderaan. I had let my daughter suffer? Suddenly I was angry with myself. It was necessary, I reasoned. Still it did not calm me. Kriff it all. I thought of how best to make my appearance. A dinner, perhaps? Blast it all. Yes, a dinner would do fine. No Alderaan food though, I couldn't eat anyway. Couldn't smell either. Just your traditional aristocracy meal. If Calrissian was stupid enough to serve Alderaan food, that was his own fault. What of the pilot, Solo? He loved my daughter. Mine. Yet was use was she to me? I had Luke. I didn't need twins fighting for power. It was best as Obi-Wan had set it up. Maybe the old man wasn't so crazy after all. I felt a stab for killing him, but I brushed it away. Best Leia didn't know about me, lived her life, lived the Rebellion. Let Luke kill her when he turned to the Dark Side. That didn't matter, at it would no longer be my responsibility. As for Solo? What to do with him? She was my daughter. He had to be proven that he loved her, and also that he had no knowledge of this Force, or had the ability. I probably wouldn't kill him if he did have, maybe have Luke kill him as a test, maybe I would challenge Solo myself. At least prove him that he truly loved her. Electrical shocks always seemed the best, I had noticed with this sort of thing. They would be inseparable. Too bad Jabba the Hutt needed him, I wasn't being paid a huge percentage for delivery, but I didn't care. I hadn't decided everything yet. Which was fine. Some things can't be predicted, you just have to be prepared for them. Just like I wasn't sure how Luke would be lured to Bespin, unless I sent him a vision of what I would do to them, yes. I breathed deeply, that would prove his faithfulness to his friends. I had the troopers polish my armor, and then I went to dinner. Maybe the Emperor was right. Maybe torture got you places.

A/N: Can't promise when the update is, I do promise that this will get finished though. Thank you for reading, even if it is a one word review, I do not care. PLZ review!!


	15. Bespin: The Mistake

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The breathing was too deep, too intense. I lurked in the corridor of the chamber. I watched as my daughter sobbed, tried to look strong as solo was frozen. Too bad my son was worth more. For some reason, I felt nothing. Almost as though the chamber had frozen my heart before the cycle had began for solo. I had to admit that I liked the kid's spunk. Had something I'd lost somewhere along the line. Besides, I figured the Hutt would kill him. I wanted the Kid in reserves somewhere. And besides, on Tatooine, who could figure out how to unfreeze the cement slab? It would take someone with skill. Jabba would think that he was dead, or still being tortured. But it was hibernation. Yes, there would be torture, but come on, The princess would find him. The Princess. I decided I did want her. She'd try and escape. The Wookie wouldn't be as difficult as the clone troopers thought he was. Maybe he knew where Yoda went. My plans were suddenly clear, and calculated. I knew exactly what I was doing. I had to have Luke, my son, and Leia, my daughter. Not one, but two. I went back on the deal I made. Didn't I deserve a little happiness after all of this? Of course I did. Who wouldn't? The emperor would have to dismember me before…but I stopped myself. I wasn't that stupid. I still wanted to live. I just had to keep things my way for a while. Waiting for Luke was as probably as much agony for me as it was while Leia watched solo get frozen. I had all my bases covered. If Luke didn't submit, I'd freeze him, send him to the emperor. It all finally made a lot of sense. I wasn't drowning in my own thoughts anymore. I know, I'm lying again. But I don't care. I've got my son right where I want him. He's flying in. I felt it before the clone trooper said so.

"there's someone landing, Lord Vader," I was informed.

"It's skywalker."

Leia gasped. Easy Princess, this isn't your pretty boy, it's your brother. Sometimes humans were so dense. But I sensed that she cared about him, as her commander, her confidant. She loved solo, but she wasn't sure how she felt about Luke. I sensed it. Neither of them knew. They were twins, brother and sister. Suddenly I realized something. Padme had lived. Long enough to give birth to twins. I hadn't killed her. My nightmares were true. She had died in childbirth. But that would have to mean the emperor had…No, I didn't want to think it. He had Lied to me. He'd said I'd killed Padme. I hadn't killed her. The twins had. I didn't know suddenly, feeling the responsibility of fatherhood whether I should kill them. But Luke. We had such a strong connection. I somehow could always now feel him, since the death of obi-wan. Sometimes the Light protected him, and he wasn't where he was supposed to be. But this time, I knew he had landed. I figured calrissian would try to smuggle out the Princess and the Wookie, and that confounded golden Robot, that also was so familiar. Was that 3PO? But it didn't matter anymore. The droid had probably had its mind wiped. What about R2? I suddenly wondered. I hadn't thought about those gadgets in forever. I felt empty and alone. And like always, I hated waiting. Luke. I felt Leia shout a warning, but like me, he wouldn't pay attention. He was angry, he wanted to kill me. HE thought I was this dark evil cyborg here to destroy him, destroy the galaxy, his galaxy. I'm not that at all. I'm just here to deliver my son to the emperor, this way the war begins in the house. I'll defeat him, shake his hold off me. I like the dark side, there's a lot of power right at the heart of my anger, but I am sick of being treated like a child, left out of the loop. With my son, perhaps I can be reconstructed, reconstitute the galaxy to my liking. Too bad Leia escaped, we could have made a treaty with a planet. IF Luke just feels like destroying things, we could always use the new Death Star that's being built. The emperor thinks I don't know. But I do. This time, it would take a power surge to the main reactor and a ground assault where it's being built on the Power source on a planet in the outer rim called Endor. It's named after an old town before coroscant knew that other planets existed. It wasn't called Coroscant then, but earth. Don't know how many years it took before earth had to have an artificial atmosphere. Anyway, its old stuff I learned, mostly from the emperor. Endor was the city of witches in the first age. They were the first to get into contact with the dark side. But I feel Luke approaching now. We're going to fight, and I, his father, will test his skills. I don't want to hurt him. He is, after all, my son.

Luke approached. I felt his anger toward me. He feared and hated what he didn't know. I could have understood, but I just wanted to test him, hone his skills. He was nimble, quick, and powerful with the force. Mostly light. Balance, perhaps? I nearly praised him for his use of the chamber when I tried to shut him in it. I wouldn't have, not really. But he didn't know that.

"Impressive."

He leaped down, then up, using his newly constructed lightsaber. Had he kept mine? Obi-Wan had had his own in addition to mine.

Human side begged to engage in conversation. Dark Side and cyborg, demanded to fight.

He hated me. For absolutely No reason. It made no sense. I was his father. He would kill me. I lifted my saber to block him. Clumsy. My prosthetic hand suddenly slipped, and I missed the mark. I had meant to knock it out of his hand, I don't know what I was thinking, but it severed his hand, and the lightsaber went flying. He screamed in pain. The force tremored. And suddenly my arm hurt as well. I didn't want to kill him, I didn't…but the words wouldn't form. Stupid voice box.

"Luke…I am your father." If only he could have heard it naturally. My voice was husky, but the voice box translated a lot of dark noise, and breath, It sounded cruel and menacing to him. Terror played on his face.

"NOOO. NOOO!" he screamed in sheer horror. I couldn't be his father.

"Join me, and together, we can rule the galaxy like father and son." Two Sith, as it should be. Why was he so afraid of me? Was I really that scary? I couldn't be that frightening, Could i? It's just a breath suit to keep me alive, Son. Really I am an old man who just wants my son. Maybe for my own selfish reasons, yes. Revenge.

"I'll never join you!" He shouted at me. I had to grab his arm, touch his face. He was luke, my son. He was trapped. And he let go of the platform. And fell. He wouldn't die. I knew that. I sighed inwardly. I hated myself. I should have just let him and leia alone. It made sense. I heard him screaming Leia's name. And she heard. I sensed that. They would be loyal to each other, Brother and sister.


End file.
